I recently self-harmed a couple of days in a row. I am doing okay now, but it makes me wonder if I need more treatment to try and course-correct before I slide downhill into emotional turmoil and dysfunction. I've been at this point many, many times before and it's all too easy to spiral down and get more entrenched in my negative coping mechanism.

There's the possibility of an IOP, and I'll discuss it with my therapist. I've done IOP many times. In my town there are two main hospital systems I have been to that offer IOP. Both have their good and bad points. However, I am not thrilled on the idea of an IOP because they're going to try and put me in a DBT-based group. One hospital system always puts me in DBT after the initial assessment, even after I tell them I don't want to be in DBT. I am very familiar with DBT and learn nothing new in these groups; in fact I get quite bored, even though I do participate and pay attention. I quit the last two times I was in it and they actually asked me not to come back for at least a month to work on my "therapy interfering behaviors."

At the other hospital system I did a more generic IOP, which was a little boring, but overall okay. However, they let me know if I were to come back my insurance would want me to be placed in the DBT group because that's what they feel is best for me. Even though I feel they are more friendly at that IOP they only have one time slot (10:00 am to 1:00 pm, where as the other IOP has several time slots, starting at 9:00 am and going all the way to ending at 9:00 pm) and transportation there would suck; now that I've moved it's on the other side of town.

So I don't really know what to do. I don't want to be bored in DBT. I don't think it would help. But I don't really know what my other options are. On top of all of that, of course, I'm worried about being exposed to people again because of coronavirus. I was in an IOP when COVID started and they would take our temperature every day and we had to wear masks, but I'll still be nervous, especially because I'll also have to take the bus to get there. I haven't taken the bus in months out of fear of the virus.

What do you think I should do?