[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I’ve been with this guy for almost 3 years. He is my first boyfriend, my first everything, even the first real friend I’ve ever felt like I had all through out high school. I don’t have any friends of my own, but I have him and that’s enough. However, lately we just keep fighting. I feel like a lot of the issues stem from the past and my own insecurities. We were kinda opposite, before he started dating me he talked to tons of girls. In 2 years he dated so many I honestly lost count. His first kiss was one of my friends, it was just a lot to work through in the beginning of the relationship but I kept everything bottled up. He would say mean things to me in the beginning and I would just smile and shrug, I was so in love and happy to finally have someone who showed an interest in me. He has changed a lot in the almost three years, he doesn’t say things that are a bit rude as much and he acknowledges what a “jerk” he used to be to me. But it’s like I feel like he starts losing interest. He won’t make as many plans, I see him about once a week, and when we are together it’s just bland. All he wants to do is watch movies, and I don’t want to sit around all day watching movies, yet I can’t think of what else to do. He rarely even calls me anymore unless he’s driving to work because the phone conversation is mostly just him talking about his interests ( which is pretty much just books he’s reading that are science fiction, that’s all he ever wants to talk about ) our phone conversations will consist of him telling me about a book and me maybe getting a few sentences out in half an hour.

We fight all of the time. He tells me that I’m boring and have no hobbies. I am starting to feel hopeless for the relationship, but breaking up would absolutely destroy me. He’s the one I was supposed to marry, we have talked about our future the last three years. Every time we fight I end up crying and texting him trying to get him to talk to me and me apologizing. Last night we were arguing and after 6 he didn’t even bother texting me the rest of the night, he was playing video games. ( I know because I was getting discord notifications saying they were talking) so last night I was up most of the night, crying myself into a headache that’s the worst I’ve ever had and unable to sleep, even melatonin couldn’t help, while he’s up all night in a game. This morning he texted me at 6:55 ( he worked at 7 ) telling me good luck at my interview today and nothing else. I’m not even going to respond, for once I want him to be the one coming back to me. I can’t live with all of this pain it will cause me if we are really over.[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]