[Mallika]

Hi Sarah,

Thank you for reaching out.

From a third-person's point of view, this gym guy is really creepy. I think at this point, he isn't even trying to be subtle (especially the remark he made about seeing him naked). And he is very clearly flirting in an inappropriate manner with you.

I agree with Eli, your mum and you manager about being frank with him. It is wholly possible to tell someone exactly how you feel about them while being polite at the same time.

There are occasions in life where we might have to reject the advances of our friends, colleagues or in your case, customers at a workplace; yes we do run the risk of making things awkward, but it is important to also set some clear boundaries when it comes to our feelings. He has made you feel really uncomfortable and is not quite getting the hint that you don't feel the same way about it, so perhaps it is time to make it clear.

Recently a big issue happened in my university whereby a female professor was constantly harassed by a colleague, a much older male professor. He repeatedly asked her out on dates though she rejected him several times, constantly pried on her whereabouts, stalked her even when she was travelling with friends to another part of the country and made her dread coming to campus. This happened for two years until she exposed him very recently. The underlying message is this - such behaviour should never be tolerated. It makes you uncomfortable, it makes you wary and can even make you dread coming to the workplace.

While this gym guy may not be malicious, his behaviour is certainly not acceptable towards a woman who is not returning his advances. Eli has given a really nice template for what you could say to him politely yet firmly.

If his behaviour persists, your manager might have to talk to him.

Take care, and I really hope this situation gets better for you