[Rivière]

Wow this is longer than I expected. I really need to stop writing essays. -_-

There's this guy at the gym I work at, and it's become very clear to me that he's trying to subtly press for something and I'm just not interested.

As a member of staff I'm required to treat members in a polite and caring manner, as any member of staff of any company would normally be expected to. I like to have a bit of a joke and a laugh with members, have a chat, smile and ask how they're doing. We're encouraged to do this, but also retain some essence of formality because, well, we are staff and we're the face of a company. However, I think one gym member who is a regular, has interpreted my acts of politeness and friendliness to be something more than it actually is.

At first I'd approach him and have a chat with him sometimes, like I would any other member. After a while he would approach me and do the same, like other members also have.... but now it's actually quite clear he's doing it for other reasons.

A few weeks ago he complimented me saying, 'You look nice with your hair up'. I brushed it aside and carried on talking about something else. Then a week or two later, he shouted me over and said that our clock is fixed. I was a bit confused because I didn't realise but played along. The clock was quite a distance away, and after a certain distance, I can't see well (I have glasses to help but I never wear them, plus they're meant for the computer anyway). He encouraged me to stand where he was (which meant coming extremely close next to him) and look at the clock. I told my friend and my mum about what happened. My friend said that he's being very inappropriate, and my mum pretty much gave the biggest scrunchy face ever because it was obvious he was angling for something more.

I've tried to keep my distance from him since. However, sometimes, I'm there a few hours before my shift to get my exercise sessions in, and he happens to be there. My headphones are on playing music really loud to drown out the world, but this doesn't deter him. We have a deadlifting platform just a few metres from the gym entrance, and I saw him enter through the corner of my eye as I was using it. I purposely paced in a different direction, and every time I saw him in my peripheral vision, I paced in a different direction during my rest period. He approaches me, and all I hear through my music is, 'Sarah!'. He shouted for my attention that loud I could hear him through my loud music.

That wasn't the first time either. I was on a rest period during another exercise, and it was as if he purposely waited for me to be on a rest period, knowing that there was a cleaning stand next to the machine I was using. He approached to use the cleaning stand, and saw I was on a rest period, so took the opportunity to get my attention, again when my headphones were on.

Last week whilst I was exercising on the deadlifting platform again, I saw him in the distance but ignored him. As soon as I started dismantling the barbell to move on and do something else, he approaches me and works hard to get my attention. I wasn't in the mood because I just wanted to be left alone, so gave him less than 2 minutes of my time and walked off to get something to clean the equipment with.

Yesterday whilst I was on shift, I had to check the men's changing rooms to ensure everything was in order. I knocked on the door and asked if I could come in. One guy let me know it wasn't ok yet. I waited 10 minutes and came back, knocked on the door and asked if I could come in. Of course by this point... the other guy was in there and said, 'Not unless you want to see me naked Sarah'. I barely responded and said, 'Well...uh..' and made a swift exit. I realised me saying that at this point would have made him think that I 'wanted' to see him naked (which I really, really don't) I decided to replenish some of the equipment stand stock to ensure everything was topped up. He approached me and made a remark saying, 'You almost saw an eye full in there'. At this point I can safely say that his comments were inappropriate, but it's very clear to me that he's angling for something with me.

2 weeks ago I spoke to my manager about him. She asked if I was interested in him. I said that I like him, but I don't like like him. I'm not interested in him that way, or anybody else at the gym, and that I come there to work and that's it. Though she did say that although the gym is where people meet one another, if I'm not interested, it's ok to let him know. I have yet to discuss with her what happened last week, and of what happened yesterday.

When I spoke to my mum last night about what happened yesterday, she said that I 'must be doing something'... but I haven't. Even yesterday all I did was ask if I could enter the male changing rooms to do the changing room checks. How is that an invitation for anything?

I'm at the point where I need to reinforce to him that I have no interest in him. I'm just there to work. However, he is a genuinely nice guy, and I don't want to make things awkward. I think I may just need to drop subtle but not so subtle hints the next time he makes remarks like that, such as, 'That's always appropriate to say to staff'.. or something similar. I don't know.

If things continue, I can only assume that I may have to be much firmer with him and stop beating things around the bush for the sake of avoiding awkwardness and so on.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What ways can you think that may help to get him to realise I'm just being friendly and I'm not interested? Or should I just try and find a way to outright tell him and just deal with the fact things will be awkward?