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Regular TeenHelper *****
Name: Mallika
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: United States
Posts: 422
Points: 11,600, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 6th 2020
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Re: Sexual tension vs platonic relationships -
September 21st 2020, 04:24 PM
Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out! I think Eli has already made some great points and answered your question.
I definitely second that the relationship you have with this person seems to be a friends-with-benefits relationship. FWB relationships are quite common, so don't feel like you're alone. Sometimes, even best friends suddenly get romantically interested in each other, so I think it's natural that you feel this way towards him, particularly since you've had sexual relations with him already. Also, feeling sexually attracted to someone doesn't necessarily mean that you want to be with that person romantically. I know it sounds a little counter-intuitive, but romantic feelings are a whole different thing, whereby being with that person is the main focus and sex is simply an aspect of it. You might want to consider whether the feelings you have for him are only along the lines of sexual attraction, or if you actually feel romantically interested in him.
It is clear that he wants to keep the relationship to a friends-only level at this point, even to the extent that both of you have agreed to cut out on intimacy. I think you're doing the right thing by respecting his boundaries. So you can continue with the relationship the way it is going. However, if you feel that you are starting to develop genuine romantic feelings for him, it would be good to confess that to him, not immediately perhaps, but rather in a few months' time or whenever you feel the time is right.
Take care! I think the best advise to you would be to "live in the moment". Since you feel that he is a great guy and you enjoy his company, it might be a good idea to let it all remain as it is now and take things as they come.
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