[Mallika]

Hi Kayla,

Thank you for reaching out. I second Eli - though this is a very confusing time emotionally, I think it makes sense to put your foot forward about your feelings.

The very fact that you've reached out to us here means that you already feel a special way about him. Due to previous experiences, it is natural that you are feeling numb while processing the feelings you might have for him, but the fact remains that you do feel this way about him. Sometimes, especially when we are planning to tell someone how we feel about them, we may not completely understand our own feelings fully. Many people confess to their crushes just after a week or so of knowing them - in those cases, I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't have thought through all their feelings or contemplated if they really like that person, but they still go ahead and confess. Like Eli said, you can even tell him that you're still processing your feelings, but you wanted him to know that you feel a special way about him. You can also tell him that you want to take it one step at a time, if you prefer. There's a lot of charm in honesty, especially when it comes to confessing our feelings to someone.

One thing I've learned is that it is pretty liberating to tell someone you like them. It gives you an interesting sort of confidence, even if the person rejects you. You've no doubt been through a lot in the past, but this might be an opportunity, even if it's a small one, to regain some confidence regarding matters of love and relationships. For all you know, this might even contribute to your healing and give you that little push to put behind the numbness. You said you don't want to feel numb anymore, and so going ahead and telling him how you feel might just be the solution to acknowledging those feelings that the numbness is trying to mask from you. Sometimes, the best way to confront our demons is to face them head-on.

I wish you the very best of luck. Remember that you can always PM me if you'd like to chat about anything