[Mallika]

Hello there,

Thank you for coming on to TeenHelp. It is no doubt a very difficult time and I give you and your family my condolences.

Death of a loved one is such an overwhelming matter to deal with. I want to assure you that you don't have to feel guilty at all for crying. She was your beloved grandma - it's natural for you to grieve her loss. In fact, crying will help you cope better with the circumstances. You can still be of support to your family members, but don't worry about having to cast aside your emotions as you'll have your own grieving process too.

One thing that will give you strength in due time is acceptance. Acceptance is liberating. When we accept that death is a part of life and that for every being that has taken a birth in this world, there is a time to go, it becomes better for us to psychologically cope with this loss. The strong are those who are tolerant both in times of happiness and distress, for these experiences will make you stronger in facing the harsh truths of life.

It will give you great strength to remember the good times you've had with your grandma in the span of 6 years that you've known her. You can even write them down in a nice letter, which you can pray reaches her soul. Perhaps you might want to hear some stories from your parents (once they are feeling better of course) about some amazing things your grandma did in her lifetime - it will be a nice way to celebrate the contributions she has made in your lives and remember her from time to time. It will help you come to terms with the fact that she would now have moved on to a better place.

I agree with Emma that you could definitely talk to someone about how you're feeling. Death of a loved one leaves us in a jumble of grief, denial, pain and confusion, so speaking about it will definitely help. You are most welcome to PM me if you'd like to speak to someone. And yes, you could try to do some activities that would give you some sanctuary from all that's happening.

In difficult times like this, we often forget to take care of ourselves. I hope that you're eating and sleeping properly. Take care, this tough time will tide by!!