[Mallika]

Hi Olivia,

I want to start off by saying that you're absolutely justified to feel the way you're feeling. It sucks so much to feel objectified. And as much as there are people out there who are suffering abuse on worser scales, that does not nullify what you're going through.

Unfortunately, the society we live in loves to objectify women. Almost every woman I've met has been inappropriately touched at some point or the other, even during the most ordinary of circumstances, such as while travelling in a train. Including myself. Even some of my own relatives have made me feel really uncomfortable. It's horrible.

Now, a roommate of mine once told me about how she would directly call out the "aggressors". She'd directly fire at the catcalling guys in the streets, asking them, "What the hell are you trying to do?" It takes guts to that, of course, and not everybody is that bold. But you can respond bravely in your own way. If you notice that someone is continuously staring at you, glare right back at them - they should look away. If you noticed that someone took a picture of you - you should go up to him and ask him about it. Don't be afraid - if they have the audacity to stare at you, you have every right to snap back at them. It comes with practise; it might be difficult the first couple of times to confront them, but eventually you'll get accustomed to doing this. And hopefully the same guy doesn't repeat his mistake twice.

As for concerts, I know it's quite tough to compromise on the mosh pit. But it's also hard to pinpoint who exactly groped you. If you're going to be in a crowd, it comes with the unfortunate risk of molestation and groping. So if you want to be safe, perhaps you might want to book a seat instead, so that you can sit and watch the concert? I understand that the mosh pits are quite cheap and way more fun, but you can usually get seats that come at a good price with a decent view. I've always sat at all the concerts I've attended (and yes, they've been high-energy concerts), and I've had great fun without all that jostling and pushing.

Take care, and I hope you don't have to go through more of these uncomfortable situations!!