Thank you for sharing your story with us. We are here to listen and help. You are not alone; I promise.

A little over a year ago I was in a similar position as you. The love of my life broke up with me, out of the blue, after nearly five years together. We weren't engaged yet, but we had every intention of getting married when I was more stable. It was the most serious, loving relationship I'd ever been in, and I was crushed. I didn't think I could live without her. I ended up in a psych ward because of it. I told myself in a year, when we went our separate ways, I would cease to exist.

Well, it's been over a year, and we went our separate ways. Yet here I am. I am not suicidal (in fact I haven't been in a psych ward since January). I am not self-harming anymore (3 months clean to the day). I feel happy and content in myself. Life is actually pretty good.

My point is, you don't know where you'll be in a year. Things can change SO much in such a short amount of time. I know it hurts. I can only imagine how crushed you are. But your life doesn't need to end just because your romantic journey with him is over.

The other thing I've learned is the importance of caring for yourself. I am still single, fifteen months later. And I like it. It's given me time to grow, and as much as I hate to admit it, that wouldn't have happened if I had stayed with her. I'm not saying you're in the same position, but I suspect you might be. You're young. You are in the prime of your life right now, even if it doesn't feel like it. The early twenties are such a magical time and my hope is that you can come to enjoy it and use it to grow.

As for worrying about the future, I would consider taking things one step at a time, moment to moment. Are you still on good terms with your boyfriend? Do you have a counselor, social worker, parent(s), or medical professional you can trust? They might be able to get you in touch with resources if you're struggling, but emotionally and for housing purposes.

I know it hurts, but I believe you can make it through. You can forge a new path. I'm here for you if you want to talk.