[Mallika]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here on TeenHelp.

First of all, I also think you are too young to worry about having sex. Depending on where you're living, this is underage sex and it might be against the law as well, for a good reason.

Love, you have just entered your teenage years. You wouldn't want to ruin a time that should be spent on personal growth and development by having boys touch you or worrying about whether your body is ready for sex.

I'm disturbed to read that boys are coming up to feel your breasts. You're a young adolescent, no doubt it feels good to get attention from the opposite gender now that your body is growing. However, people might take advantage of you and hurt you in the process. It might feel good now, but I'm sincerely worried that a few years down the road, it might turn into guilt, embarrassment and remorse, like "Why the hell did I allow them to touch me?" To prevent that and for your own safety, I insist that you ask your mom to bring you to the shops to buy some bras. For your age, sport bras will do the job. I know I sound like a croaky nag here, but you shouldn't wear see-through clothes or tight-fitting clothes that reveal your nipples at your tender age, because the reality is, there are dirty men lurking everywhere. I don't want you to be in a position that allows such people to take advantage of your naivety. The world is cruel, honey, so we have to be smart about how we live our lives.

Next, having sex with a boy does not make him your boyfriend. As you grow up, you'll see many of your friend going on casual hookups with men, with whom they'll have sex but never see again. And nope, they don't automatically become boyfriends. It seems that you and the boy you're hanging out with are technically in a relationship, but both of you are underage, and shouldn't be engaging in physical intimacy. Now, why is underage sex so discouraged and against the law in the first place in so many countries? I'll explain.

- When you're underage, you may not have a complete picture of what sex is. Many people your age have not even heard about sex, let alone understand what the process entails. For example, if you don't know how to do pottery and yet I send you into a pottery studio to make me a vase, would it be fair to you? Same logic here

- Your body isn't ready. Yes, it's totally normal for your vagina to be tight at this age, because you're still undergoing puberty. Even if you've already got your period, that doesn't automatically mean that you're body is biologically ready for sex. And that means that it's better not to engage in what your body isn't ready for.

- Limited info about safe sex. A lot of young people like you are too eager to engage in physical intimacy, and that might lead you to forgo certain safety steps. For example, using protection. Ideally, your male partner needs to use a condom while having sex. There are various types of contraceptives out there that you can read about, but like I mentioned earlier, do not worry about these now. You're way too young. You'll probably learn about them in school very soon, and they'll definitely come in use when you're in your late teens.

Now, I wouldn't encourage you to think of ways to perform better sexually with your boyfriend at your current stage. I'd actually advise you to avoid it altogether. You don't have to break up with him, you can still be in a healthy relationship without bringing sex into the equation. I'm worried that what seems like harmless sex now can morph into something worse, and I don't want you getting hurt in the process. If you're unsure, unclear or uncomfortable about anything pertaining to sex, it's OK to say no. Decline having sex.

You're too young, and you still have a long way to go. In life, there are always "healthy pursuits" and "unhealthy pursuits", and I understand that at your age, it might be difficult to delineate them, so I hope I've made it a little clearer for you. Don't let sex and intimate touching (unhealthy pursuits at your age) take up time in your life, rather, use this time to do well in school and in your hobbies (healthy pursuits for your age).

Take care, and feel free to PM me if you have any questions at all!