I kind of get where you are coming from. When I first realized I was trans I was very upset. I didn't want to be, because I know trans folks generally have really hard lives in my country. I was also scared because I knew some people might not accept me, and to be honest I haven't told those people yet. But I will, eventually, because I have come to accept myself and I want to live honestly and openly.

It's hard not to be cis and het. I wish it weren't but in many places it is and it really sucks. I would suggest you take a step back from judging yourself so harshly if, in fact, you are not straight. You're not hurting anybody and it's not wrong. It's okay to be however you are, as long as you are kind to yourself and practicing informed consent with your partner(s).