Hey there. Thanks for sharing a bit about your experience with us. I am glad you found TeenHelp, and I hope we can help.

Like Mallika said, gender identity and sexual orientation are not always a "fit neatly in this box" kind of thing. They are often very fluid, and may change a lot over the course of one's life. I certainly have some experience with this in my own life. When I was a little I thought I was straight and a girl. Now at this point I know I am mostly gay and non-binary. I don't think my journey in gender and sexuality is over by any means, either. It's ever-evolving, and may be for many years, or even the rest of my life. I know you want to fit in a box, and I agree, that does seem easier. But the fact of the matter is it rarely happens like that.

You mention you think you like women because you are envious of being one. It's possible you may be a CD/TV or even transgender. CD/TV stands for crossdresser/transvestite. They are men who enjoy wearing women's clothing and accessories, be it in private or public, and enjoy being objectified as women. However, they still identify as male. A transgender person isn't the gender they were assigned at birth. Perhaps you could look more into exploring these sides of yourself. You may be surprised at what you find.

It's also important to note there's actually a sexual orientation and a romantic orientation. Based on what you described, you may be bisexual, as you fantasize about sexual scenarios with two genders, but you may be heteroromantic, as you only desire romantic relationships with individuals of the opposite sex. This may be where you are right now, but it could change.

Gender and sexuality is an amazing thing to play with. There are so many ways to express yourself and so much to learn about yourself. It's hard sometimes, but in the end it can be a really great feeling to live authentically as yourself.

Good luck and PM me if you have other questions. I am happy to help.