[Mallika]

Hi Nikki,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us here on TeenHelp. I'm sorry that you're going through such a confusing time.

I would advise you to tell your parents exactly what you're going through as a result of their arguments. I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but sometimes adults need to be reminded about the repercussions of their problems on their own children. As someone who has grown up watching my parents fight almost every fortnight, I can tell you that expressing your thoughts/fears/concerns/stress openly gets parents to set aside their ego and reflect on their actions, which they wouldn't have done otherwise.

Tell your parents that you and your sister are already going through so much trauma as a result of their fights. Tell them that this sudden arrangement of your mom moving away will leave a tumultuous consequence on your day-to-day activities and would affect how you cope in school. You might want to tell your mom personally that you are super tensed about how your dad will run the house once she leaves. Sometimes, the best method to find a way out of our problems is to speak up and get a conversation going. You never know, the course of things might change after you speak.

Lastly, tell them that it is unfair that you as kids should have to go through all this for no fault of yours. That's the truth, isn't it?

If your parents don't change anything even after you speak up, that's no longer in our control anymore. But at least you've tried your best to express your concerns. In that case, like Panda said, you can turn to other solutions, such as requesting your father politely to be more proactive, reaching out to a close friend/relative for help, etc. Another thing is that sometimes, men tend to become more actively involved in caring for the home and children if their wife isn't living at home anymore, even though they might not have assisted with housework at all previously when she was present.

I really hope that things will improve. Be brave and talk to them first; as their child, you have every right to speak when you and your sister are the ones you are directly influenced by their actions.

Take care!