[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]Their relationship is rather complicated and I can't know for sure what rules they have established. From what I understood, he has the right to have another partner if he tells her about it, and she has the right to have another partner if she tells him about it. Here, she chose to be romantically (and even sexually, I suppose?) involved with her ex without telling him, and she hid this from him.

But I'd also like to point out that he tends to go against his own words, 'cause he was really upset when he confessed that she cheated on him, and the night he texted me after finding this out he was also in a really bad shape. Still, he's now insisting on the fact that he doesn't care if she cheats on him and that he didn't want to make it look like it was a big deal. However, I could see how upset he was. He's like an open book, he can't hide his feelings and yet he tries to hide them by going against his own statements. He's done that a few times, like when I said that he told me he couldn't break up with her otherwise she would try to kill herself if he did, but seconds later he said that she wouldn't actually try to commit suicide. He even did that when he said he didn't want to choose between her and me and that he didn't want things to change, and seconds later he said, ”No, I don't expect you to accept that I have a girlfriend, I expect nothing from you, I just want you to be alright”. He always says the contrary of his previous statements, so I don't know what's going on inside his head or what he truly wants or needs. Neither do I know what he really feels, about the cheat thing, and if he really loves her, or if he's only attached to the memories he has...

But yeah, it definitely looks like that he changes his tune to keep me by his sides. I don't like that, it makes me feel like he uses lies to keep me close, but if I tells him what I think he'll say that I'm being mean again and that he feels like he should kill himself. Sigh, I wish I would have thought a bit more before agreeing on this relationship between us. He's not ready to get into one, he has so many things to deal with before it's healthy for him to be involved in a serious relationship. But I guess he kind of hid this side of his from me in fear of seeing me saying no when he asked me out. He's not a bad guy, but no relationship can be healthy if he stays like that. He needs to realize a lot of things about himself and his ways of coping with them, actually he needs to learn how to cope with them. I hope he'll eventually seek professional help now that I told him my decision. So, yeah, we broke up, but I let him know that he could get back with me if everything truly gets better. And now I feel like he'll try to show me that everything's better when it's not just so he can get back with me. I don't know what I did to make him so clingy, I really don't get why he's so attached to me and can't stand the thought of me being away just on a romantic level... I mean, I still feel fine talking with him everyday, but it seems to him that I'm leaving forever when I just broke the romantic thing between us... sigh...

No, I don't think he tries to make his girlfriend and me fight over him. Most of the time he tells me how nice she is, and I know that he only tells good things about me to her too. It's just that he can't help but talk to me when things go wrong between them (spoiler: they daily go wrong, but he still tries to close his eyes to all the bad things she does to him) and every time I get mad at her for hurting him, he gets anxious because he doesn't like at all that I'm mad at her and that I hate her. As if he wants me to just comfort him, without being mad at his girlfriend. As if he wants us to go along pretty well and tolerate each other, so that he can stay with both of us.[/size]