[Rivière]

This is probably going to be quite long, so if anyone doesn't feel like reading, I'm just wondering if anyone has had any family members who've experienced a sudden behaviour change in a member of their family?

The reason I ask is because, since my brother (he's 31) got a job last year, he started behaving very differently. At first I put it down to the fact he finally had money of his own to spend and didn't have to worry about paying bills or being stuck on Universal Credit (job seekers benefits in the UK).

According to my mum, he said we'd be 'financially better off' once he got a job. Except we haven't been. He only goes out to buy food when HE wants something, or when my mum would ask him to. The food that he buys is specifically related to what HE likes to eat and drink. He only buys bread, milk, and electricity. Even then, he only buys the type of bread HE likes. No one here eats white bread but him. He only ever buys snacks or sweet things that HE wants to eat. He doesn't care about anything for anybody else such as anything to cook with like meat, vegetables, or fruit.

A few months back he stopped eating downstairs with everybody for dinner and now just eats his dinner in his room alone. He refuses to have a conversation with anybody or spend time with us. Even when I try and talk to him, he doesn't care to talk to me and says he's 'watching stuff'. For the times he does spend time talking to me, he tries to cease the conversation by saying, 'Time for a drink I think' (cup of tea or something), or that he needs to use the bathroom.

He refuses ti give any money towards bills, or to help pay for council tax or anything. Every time he was asked to help, he would say he can't afford it. Then about 6 weeks ago, I found out from my mum that he's now leaving home because he found a place to rent and was just waiting for confirmation that it was his. He got confirmation and instead of just properly moving out, he keeps dragging it out.

He ordered a crap ton of stuff on Amazon (bearing in mind he refused to fork out £120 for a month of council tax because he said he had no money). His rent is about £650 per month and he's paid up for 5 months. He bought a £200 smart tv, dining tables and chairs, tv stand, cups, plates, cutlery and other kitchen supplies. He even bought a brand new double bed, wardrobe, and some other furnishings. My mum is understandably upset by his behaviour because he kept claiming for months on end he had no spare money, when really he was saving up to buy everything new and even had enough for 5 months worth of rent.

He stated that he would be stopping the internet at the house because he's moving it to his new place. He never bothered to tell me he was cutting the internet, let alone even move out. The only reason I found out was because my mum told me and she waited for a while because she thought maybe he'd tell me, except he never did. I had to find out from her that I would lose access to the internet, and that he's moving out.

Today when he knocked on my door and asked if I'd 'sorted the internet' with my uncle, I was very confused, so asked him when is the internet going to be removed. He said 'When I go'. So I asked him when he's leaving, he says, 'At 10 to' so said, '10 to what? 10 to 1?' He says yes and that he did tell me the internet would be going off today. He never, ever did.

I've tried to take a step back and consider that maybe he did and that I never paid attention, except I know that he genuinely didn't. I would have remembered and am 100% confident that he didn't. Again, the only reason I knew it would be going was because my mum kept reminding me over and over since I was going to take my exam today, and had to take it early.

My mum and uncle are under the belief (and a huge one at that) that he's deeply in love with someone or at least met someone and he's so busy wanting to be with them, he doesn't realise how badly he's crapping on us. He buys a 2-bedroom house (so not even just a flat) that has a huge amount of space, in a city, with a garden. A double bed, all brand new furnishings. He says he's not going to use the spare room for his computer or have it as a study as he decided the computer is going downstairs.

I've tried to look at it from another perspective. Maybe he's seriously unhappy, or is having mental health issues... but even then, some of his behaviour doesn't add up. Why buy a TWO bedroom HOUSE and not use the spare room as a study if you're going to be alone. Why buy a DOUBLE bed and all these furnishings when he has a bed, wardrobe, desk etc already here at home? Not only that, after a while of being at his job, he started being more hygienic and showering almost every day (he showered maybe once or twice a week in the past), getting his hair professionally cut, buying new clothes, expensive shoes, shirts, even expensive cologne. I get needing to have an overhaul of clothes, but several pairs of pure leather shoes and strong male perfume is quite something. All in all, maybe my mum and uncle are right and he really has met someone and is in love with them so hard he doesn't realise how he's behaving.

I even asked a close friend on their opinion and before I could say anything, they too were under the instant belief he's going to be with someone and just wants to keep it a secret.

I mean, I understand wanting privacy. I get it. But why crap on your entire family?

He refuses to properly move out despite the fact he's paid his rent (again, £650 or so a month) because his bed and coverings are considered 'non essential' and Amazon won't deliver them until the end of the week (he's been waiting 2 weeks now I think). He still refuses to pay for any bills whilst he remains here. My mum keeps having to ask him for money.. which isn't a thing any family member should have to do when living together. He reluctantly pays for food and just buys what he wants. Only pays for electricity so he can wash/dry his clothes in the washing machine/drier.

He's basically having free easy living and refuses to leave, all because he doesn't want to move out without the delivery of his double bed.

I know he's not exactly been the nicest of people in general, but it's painfully obvious there's something more going on and it's really weird.