[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"](Just so you know, I'm a guy too.)

I have been in a relationship for two or three months with a guy. Two weeks after we got together, he told me he also had a girlfriend of three years.

I've been speaking with this guy for two years and I did know he had some sort of relationship with that girl but I thought they had broken up since he stopped speaking about her (surely because he was quarantined at his father's place, instead of being quarantined in his apartment with his girlfriend) and since he asked me out and said nothing about another relationship he could have.

Yet, something like two weeks after, he told me he still was with this girl. It's an open relationship and as far as I know, his girlfriend has nothing against him being with me and she even respects me and likes me. Little does she know that I carry a large amount of hatred towards her. During the two years I've spoken with my boyfriend, he told me how disrespectful she can be to him, and how she's used to make him feel like a mess. So, yeah, I hate her and I'm not a really tolerant or respectful guy when it comes to people I despise.

I told him that I should have remembered that he had a girlfriend, and that I would not leave him because of that. I also told him that I'd try to accept that, but now I realize this was a huge mistake. He knows he fucked up by not telling me that sooner but he really hopes I can accept it 'cause he's not ready to make a choice between her and me.

However I'm someone who thinks love should only be between two people and I can't seem to understand how he can love two people at the same time and wants to be in a relationship with them at the same time. I'm starting to get awfully mad at his girlfriend, I really really really despise her and he's getting mad at me since I won't respect her and have difficulties accepting that he wants to stay with her. He told me he didn't feel like he was my boyfriend because I'm kind of a loner who needs to be often by himself, and then he thinks I can feel like I'm his boyfriend and that he's 100% mine while he has a freaking girlfriend, lives with her and speaks to me about her and about how she seems so much better than me? (He didn't say that directly, but he described her to me and she was everything I'm not.)

It's not my fault if he doesn't want to understand that I'm not an accepting and kind little boy who will accept his other relationship without any problem, and fuck him for expecting something else.

I talked to him about that the other day and we all agreed on them breaking up, he also said he had asked what was the best to do on a forum like this one and people also agreed on them breaking up. Yet, he was awfully depressed after that, we had an argument where he told me he had made this choice for me and that he got nothing from me in return (he meant not feeling like he's my boyfriend), and I gave in and told him he could get back with her. Because I didn't want to make him sad or feel like I was being toxic and forcing him to break up with someone he loves.

But I can't bear it anymore, I'm not made to bear relationships like that, I can't stand that he has a girlfriend, that he has someone else in his life. I asked him about the future, he said he would make a choice. But I honestly don't think he's capable of it especially when he wants to stay with her as long as possible.

So I'm thinking of telling him to make a choice, her or me. Is that a good idea? Or am I being toxic and abusive?

I mean, I didn't know he had a girlfriend. I had no idea, I totally forgot her when he asked me out. And he waited two weeks to tell me! Do I have to accept it or can I ask him to make a choice?[/size]