I am on two medications for anxiety: Zyprexa and Vistaril. I am on the maximum dose of Zyprexa. I take it in the morning and at bedtime. Vistaril tends to make me sleepy so I take it at bedtime.

You'd think with two anxiety medications I wouldn't be anxious, but my anxiety lately has been TERRIBLE. I can't get anything done. The house is a wreck. I'm barely making to it appointments. I'm sleeping most of the day away. I'm not accessing the resources available to me, like my psychiatrist, therapist, and caseworker.

I am guessing I need a medication change but this is a new psychiatric service (I was with my old psychiatrist for ten years but she moved out of state in March) and I am afraid to have anyone mess with my meds. I am afraid they'll mess it up. I'm also too afraid to even call the office and make an appointment. My caseworker and therapist have offered to do it with me but I just don't want to or can't or something.

I also feel like (and I know this doesn't really make sense) like I am "faking" my anxiety? Like with two medications shouldn't I be not anxious? Or is my anxiety just too strong? I don't know. But it feels like somehow I'm messing up and I have to be making it worse than it is. i don't know how, but that's how it feels.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I would love to hear them.