[Tigereyes]

It is very possible that I'm about to die or ruin my entire future if I stay home. I'm too young to be deciding between probable death and certain increasing debt. I don't want to die. I don't want to throw everything away just to not die. But my future won't matter if I'm not alive long enough for their to be a future. I must make decisions based on immediate survival. It likely will catch up with me, but if I can survive longer, maybe I can find another option, a way out, a light at the end of the tunnel. It is very likely that the light is just an oncoming train and I am trapped in the dark with nowhere to go, nowhere to run. But it's better than hopelessly sitting in the dark, waiting for the inevitable end to come. If I stay here, I will die. If I move toward the light, I likely will still die. But sitting here waiting is not how I want to die.