[Storyteller.]

Hey there,

As the user above me said, not liking traditionally feminine things doesn't necessarily make you anything other than female. However, it can be an indication that maybe your gender identity doesn't match up with what you were assigned at birth. For example I was never particularly "girly" as a child, but it wasn't until I was out of my teen years that I finally realised I wasn't a girl. But I've had friends also don't like dresses or makeup, who like sports and video games, and who still identify as female. Your gender is more than just how you present yourself or what your hobbies are. It's who you are, and you can be any gender in any way you like.

It can also be very tricky for AFAB (assigned female at birth) folks, since there's a lot of pressure for women and girls to behave and look a certain way. Maybe you're not a girl, or maybe you just don't want to be a girl the way that society says you should. It's okay if that's something that you want to explore, and it's okay if that takes you a while. Figuring out who you are, especially when it may not line up with how other people see you or how you think you should be, can be a complicated process, and it can be hard to know where to start. So here's my advice: start with something simple. If "what gender am I?" is too vague or overwhelming a question, try "what would make me happy?" instead. If changing your presentation (hair, clothes, makeup, etc) would make you happy, go for it. If trying out a new name or pronouns fills you with joy, do it. It's okay to experiment, to change your mind, even to say "I don't know". You don't have to put a label to it right away (although labels can be helpful for some people so if that's what you feel you need than absolutely try some out), you can just be you and let things fall into place.

As far as pronouns go, I'm not entirely sure what options there are, but I guarantee you're not the first person to have this problem. I'm friends with an agender person whose first language isn't English, and they use neopronouns (newer pronouns specifically designed to be gender neutral or more encompassing than he/she) in their native language. If you can't find a pronoun set that works for you, you can always create one! Language is always evolving, and if it doesn't suit your purpose, you can create new words that do the job.

Overall it's about what you feel comfortable with, and what you can change or embrace in order to feel like your most authentic self. Maybe new labels or names or pronouns or presentation will help you feel like yourself, or maybe just exploring the possibility of not being cisgender will give you enough insight to allow you to feel confident in who you are. Regardless of where the journey takes you, I hope it brings you the answers you're looking for. Best of luck, and feel free to write back or start a new thread if you need more advice.