[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]So, I'm going to mark this as Non-PG13 because there's gonna be talk of sex. So buckle your seat belts Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary Pals cause this is gonna get a little messy. (Yes, I do watch Thomas Sanders lol)

So, I guess I should just dive into the story now. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months now and we've had sex before. Recently we had to have a discussion on where our relationship is going and how its become more sex based than emotion based (Last night). We both agreed to start working together on it and get back to the way things were before we started having sex. Well, that got me thinking about everything. And, somethings I noticed have got me worried are: I don't really enjoy having sex with my boyfriend and I realized that a good chunk of the time during my.... solo time that I've been uh, thinking about ladies more than I think about my boyfriend. (Now, something to know about me is that I have a bad habit of over analyzing things.) Part of me thinks that I'm going overboard but at the same time, there's been something else that was bugging me and once I really started considering this, it was like a weight kinda came off of my chest.
So, I guess I need to ask a few questions. Is it normal for someone to think about people other than their significant other while being intimate (not like while I'm having sex with him but when I'm alone)? Could this mean that maybe I'm not Bi, that maybe I'm not actually attracted to guys? I mean, I don't really get turned on by my boyfriend nor do I ever really enjoy sex with him. I like seeing him be happy, but I don't get anything pleasureful out of it. Mostly just pain.
And then, I guess my final question (the one that I think makes me feel the most... guilty). Does this mean I don't love him? I don't know if it's just immaturity and not having any experiences with love before that makes me question it, but I don't know if I love him anymore. There seemed to be a spark when we were first together, but then it was like about the time that we started getting intimate that the spark seemed to flicker out.
This is one of those times that I hope I'm wrong. I care about him and I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to be living some sort of lie to keep him happy.[/size][/color][/font]