[Mallika]

Hi there,

Thank you for your honest sharing! This depends on how much this matter means to you. If you are very passionate about trans rights and feel that his viewpoints would come in the way of your relationship, then you might want to see if you could have a discussion with him specifically about this matter and see if you both can come to a mutual understanding.

Otherwise, like Jordan said, people do change. In fact, as he figures out his sexuality, his thoughts on trans rights might change. Now, even if it doesn't, you might want to consider if that will make or break your relationship. In other words, are there other matters that are more important in your relationship? Or is respecting trans people an important aspect you'd expect to see in your boyfriend (or a future husband)?

This might not be completely related but it is similar in a way - I know a couple who differ completely on the stance of having children. The girl wants to have kids but the guy absolutely doesn't, yet they are in a stable relationship, because they enjoy being with each other and this is more important than their differences. I think this is what relationships are all about - it's unlikely for us to find someone who will be exactly like us in all our outlooks, so sometimes we might have to do with the other person's opinions. Of course, when certain values are extremely important to us, and if our partner doesn't align with our views, it might come in the way of the relationship. In which case it might be better to re-evaluate the relationship. So it all depends on how much the matter means to you

Also, about the "cutting him some slack" part, I don't think you are. You're not wrong to consider that he's going through a tough time, so it's natural for you to have told him that you were overreacting. Perhaps right now you could ask him if he needs any help coping with how he's feeling (since he appears to be depressed)? Once things are better, you might want to bring up the trans matter again if you feel strongly about it.

Take care and PM me if you have any questions