[Tigereyes]

Hey, I can relate to that. And while it can be difficult and scary to question your gender, it doesn't have to be a bad experience.

One thing to note is that the term transgender doesn't refer only to the gender binary--it is often used as an umbrella term to describe people who don't 100% identify with their assigned gender.

Here's how it was for me, in case it helps. I was assigned "female" at birth. It never felt completely right or wrong to me, and I didn't want to be a boy, so I identified as a girl when I was young. I just didn't want to be seen/treated "like a girl" and didn't like a lot of traditionally "feminine" things--I thought this was just wanting to be treated equally to boys. Then I learned about other genders and didn't feel cis, but didn't think I was trans enough (still comfortable being called my birth name, she/her pronouns, only some dysphoria, etc). Now I'm just me, and I'm okay with that. I personally feel like I have a nonbinary gender, but also not a lot of gender (agender spectrum, if you will). I've found a lot of friends who fully accept me as I am, and that led to me accepting myself.

If you don't fully identify with the gender you were assigned at birth, call yourself trans if it feels good to you. But you don't have to. Call yourself whatever feels right to you. Learn about other genders, and see if a specific term is relateable to your experience, even if it's not a perfect fit. It's okay to be you, it's okay to question your gender. It's okay to take time to figure it out. I would encourage talking with someone close to you that you trust to have some support during this process (best friend, people at GSA, queer youth center in your area, counselor, family member if you are certain it is safe to tell them).

Please try to be gentle and patient with yourself during this time, and reach out to someone if you are in danger of harming yourself. I struggled with that too, and talking more about questioning my gender with close friends (who I knew would be accepting) would have helped me so much.

I hope this helps, and please be safe. Feel free to message me on here if you want to talk more. While stressful, this doesn't have to be a negative experience.