[Mallika]

Hi there!

First off, I must say that you have been very supportive to your friend. It is clear that she is at crossroads - a really tough one that too - so kudos for being someone she can rely on.

Let me give my thoughts on this. I have seen one too many families where husband and wife have raged against each other day and night. Many of them have come to the point of divorce but just couldn't utter the word because of the taboo associated with divorce in my culture. However, sometimes separation is the only respite, because it is incredibly debilitating to put up with the emotional trauma when two people are at loggerheads with each other. If there are children in the household, it's an absolute nightmare for them too.

Your friend has decided to live separately from her husband, which indicates that she has prioritised her mental health over everything else, which is a great thing. But there is something I'd like to ask. Firstly, did she make this decision after a sufficient thinking, or did she make this decision on impulse? Because when the time comes and the husband finds out, he might beg her to stay put because he will say that he will try to be better in the future. If she didn't think it through, she might waver on that ground and might just decide to stay, which might necessarily be the best option for her as he might not live to his words.

But if she has made her decision, I would suggest that she proceed this way. She needs to tell him about her plan sooner or later, because things will be really bad for her if he finds out later without her having told him. Once her apartment dealings are complete and she has a place to move to, she should sit him down and tell him everything, and to respect her decision for her own mental peace.

She might have not lived alone, but circumstances make a person. I'm sure she will manage just fine. Like I said, the most important thing is that she needs to have made this decision after thinking it through well i.e. not on impulse.

Take care