Quote:
Originally Posted by Everglow.
The more time we spend worrying about the future, the less time we have to live right now.
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That is something that's worth thinking about. Have a therapy visit tomorrow, so hopefully that will bring some thoughts to rest. I've always had a bad time with structured routines, or obligations. Everytime I have one, it worsens everything. I think about; I should stay home, I should just ignore, or something of that variety. I fear structure it seems, or any obligation, which is not a good principle nor good mentally.
I base the future doubt upon past experiences; School = breakdown that resulted in numerous fake sick days and a mental breakdown, or any event that I have scheduled and it closes by; my psyche goes insane and flares suicidal thoughts 100x, which includes self-doubt of "why can't you just do something without f***ing breaking down, and losing all rationality", or "if I can't do this, then why am I still alive" etc. It's something that has to be broken.