I'm so sorry that you feel this way. While it's important that your parents be able to communicate with you, it's unfortunate that it's left you feeling so down about yourself and like a burden.
Playing devils advocate, I can totally understand where you're parents are coming from. Being a parent is normally super difficult, and it's made even more complicated when they feel responsible for managing a child's complex health issues, especially if it relates to something like mental health where it might involve emotional outbursts that are difficult to manage. In my field of work, I see a lot of parents who are suffering from their own issues like anxiety, depression, and burn out because they're struggling to manage and support their child with no end in sight.
That said it's NOT your fault. If you're living with bipolar disorder, that's not something you can just make go away because the people that love you are affected by it. There are things you can do, such as being compliant with medication, following up on your therapy appointments, practicing the things that can improve your mental state, seeking out new options if you're current practices aren't working effectively.
But ultimately, it's not as though you're going out of your way make life difficult for anyone. You just happen to have parents who love you, who want to support you, but whom are also humans with their own struggles.
Just out of curiosity, is there any reason that a group home doesn't feel like the right choice for you? For example, does it feel like the the sort of thing you can't get out of once you go, sort of like a prison? Perhaps it's about rules and restrictions (e.g. curfews) that wouldn't apply if you continued to live at home? Is it about being away from a place you find familiar to be surrounded by people you don't know? I'd be interested in knowing why this doesn't feel like an option for you and if, perhaps, it might be an option for you to visit some of the group homes, and ask those questions and see if it feels like something that might be an option for you, or if maybe they can let you live there on a trial basis.
Are there other living situations that might work better for you and your family if a group home isn't possible? For example, maybe you can talk to your parents about what services a group home provides that they feel would work well for you that isn't currently available to you.
For example, is it just that they want you out of the house? If that's the case, why?
Do they feel unsafe with you at home, and if that's the case, what can be changed to make that not a problem?
Is it about them having to do the bulk of the support for your mental health care? If so, is it possible to hire a support worker who can take on that responsibility?
I hope this helps
