[Celyn]

So I was in uni and we were talking about self-harm. I've always assumed self-harm were things like cutting, and done deliberately.

But I've been thinking about my own history.

I remember, when I was in school, and a boy asked me out (I was about 13/14 at the time) and I didn't feel comfortable declining, and I also didn't tell my parents (they were against me dating at that age)- so I ended up with a secret boyfriend (who also happened to live next door to me) that I didn't want to be with. This stressed me out a lot to the point where I was scratching behind my knees. I wasn't doing it deliberately, it was more like I felt an itch/urge to scratch behind my knee, so I did and then I could be doing it for a while and not realise and end up bleeding. But in that moment, it felt like it was easing the stress/anxiety? I also remember that I've often scratched in the past when I felt stressed or anxious and didn't feel able to talk about whatever was bothering me.

I'm glad to report that I don't do this anymore, or at least I haven't in a while, but it just got me thinking as I never considered it self-harm but then I can see it's a negative way of dealing with emotions?