[butterflykisses300]

Thank you both for your replies. A friend from home encouraged me to seek help at my college campus. Yes, I have some friends here which is great. As difficult as it was, I talked to one of my friends here about the anxiety. She walked me over to the student services building to get an appointment with a counselor. She did all the talking and I will uncomfortable. But I already had my first appointment. It was very nerve racking at the beginning but I slowly got a bit more relaxed.

I am involved in certain things, and I am working on starting a songwriting club, so that just says that the anxiety isn't present every single day, and I'm still able to be social despite how anxious i may feel. There's a lot of people who want to get to know me and have a reason to talk to me. There's people I've met that make an effort to communicate with me. But my response to that doesn't sound like I'm anxious. However, my body just separates from my mind, and I notice myself going through the motions of talking to them, even though I'm hoping they would leave me alone.

Then half the time I feel like I'm lying when I talk about the anxiety because it is not that evident on the outside. I seem like a confident person and I do enjoy things like public speaking and performing music. It's just in the moments that I don't trust people and when I get anxiety so bad all of a sudden for no apparent reason.

I do have a solid level of confidence in myself, which is great. But I'm not used to people talking to me or having a reason to want to know me. That feels like suspicious activity and it's just nothing that anyone has ever done before. It's hard to believe that someone thinks I'm a cool person to know.