[DisneyGirl]

Hey guys. I am going to try and keep this short. Since I was 14 years old I have always self diagnosed myself with countless illnesses, each time I panic and just “know” THIS time I’m dying. I feel like I’m losing control.

My friends and family are all SO tired of hearing me. Well a couple of weeks ago I was worried be wise I felt cold. Yes, I felt cold and was worried. I tried to sleep and I could just feel my heart pounding away which terrified me. I got up and tried to walk around. At this point it was 2:30 am, everyone was asleep. I am 19 and I live at home. I was so panicked I drove myself to the ER. I was terrified. I got there and the nurses immediately put an IV in me and started an EKG on my heart. My heart rate and blood pressure shot up. Which I know anxiety can do.

My EKG and blood tests came back fine, however it’s like that scare has stuck with me the past couple weeks. After the ER I went to my normal doctor a Couple days later for a follow up. He listened to my heart and seems to want to pin it all to anxiety. ( which yes I know I have.). I was started on antidepressants. The first day I took them I had heart burn that night and burning in my arms and that terrified me. I thought I was dying again and had a panic attack. In another couple of days I went to urgent care. I had the burning and chest pains. A cardiac nurse practitioner was there. My pulse was fine then. She listened to my heart and told me it sounds healthy. I tried to tell her I was terrified of x y and z and she just looked at me and sighed, telling me the antidepressants are known for causing these side effects. She told me her daughter started the same medicine and had the same symptoms. She told me she has been doing this 20 years, she specializes in cardiac related things and that I am fine. According to her my heart sounded healthy.

So now I have had an EKG on my heart, blood tests, and 3 doctors total have listened to my heart. The heart burn and burning sensations in my arms went away. My normal doctor agreed that they were side effects from my anxiety medication. They switched me to a new one and all of that went away and I do feel better. However I just feel a tightness in my chest still. It’s terrifying me. Everyone keeps telling me it’s anxiety and I’m sure they are right. And I know anxiety can cause chest tightness. I am just at wits ends, despite doctors telling me I’m fine I CANNOT accept it. I am so scared I feel like I need to plan my own funeral. Last night at 3 am I took my blood pressure and pulse literally 20 times. My blood pressure tends to not go much higher than 130 but is generally 120/80 ish. My pulse has been fine for the Keith part and around 87. Doctors have no reason to believe im not healthy. I just can’t stop with this anxiety about chest tightness. This is not how I want to live