[Celyn]

It's natural to go into something and then find it's not what you thought it was. It's also understandable that if you aren't very interested in what you are studying, that you may struggle with the motivation to do the work well. Many people go with the flow throughout school and I understand that without parents asking, encouraging and supporting you throughout school, you may feel less motivated to carry on your education. More so if you feel you haven't found a career path that you can follow.

You mention that you like helping others, though you have realised that nursing can trigger your own anxieties and just isn't a good fit for you. Is just mainly the health anxiety that is putting you off or are there other reasons? If it's the health anxiety, would you consider having counselling to help you deal with the hypochondria? It is treatable and you will learn to control your fears. Also, are there are other jobs in the health and social care sector that you might be interested in instead of nursing? You might want to talk to your teachers or careers advisor to let them know and see if they can help you find something more suitable.

It's very understandable that since your boyfriend's family are supportive of college, that you would feel the need to impress them. It's also difficult when you later on realise that you feel you have been lying to yourself. But if you don't feel college is for you, then that's okay. While your boyfriend's family may have their own opinions, they shouldn't treat you differently. You also wouldn't be a quitter if you did decide to drop out of college. Some times college isn't for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that. Even though you don't know what you want to do in terms of career, it doesn't mean that you should put yourself through college just for the sake of it. You could also go back to college later on in life, if you change your mind.

It's okay if you want to work for a while and take your time to figure out what interests you and where you want to go in life. You might want to list pros and cons and try putting yourself in theoretical situations e.g. how would you feel if you continued the nursing? if you got help for your anxiety? if you dropped out of college completely? and see how you feel and what you would do in those circumstances.