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Re: Residential or school? -
June 17th 2019, 11:23 PM
Hi Jordan! I think you are doing the right thing by reaching out to us on here, I can tell how much you value the website and the input from its users, even if it isn't as active as it once was. I am always following your blogs and I want you to know what an amazing job you are doing. Sure, you've let people down (including myself) but that doesn't mean you can't dwell on the failures. Like you just mentioned, others have told you you pretty much made a life out of mental health treatments.
It's really up to you in the end and you need to decide what is best for yourself. I know you want us to answer the question for you, and I'd love to push you through one of those doors; but it is you who has to decide. I wish you all the best with your decision and now present you with the scenario if I were in your place.
For me, residential nor school would be the best choice. But neither are bad choices either. Residential means you will get the help and treatment you need; but here's the thing: Do you really need residential. I don't understand inpatient so I don't know. But I imagine it's nurses and doctors doing routine checks, there are "classes" at given times however often per week for as long as you are there; you are on a strict medicine schedule. So, do you think you really need that? When were you last inpatient residential? Think of the time that has passed since then, and don't look at the past three or four months. For me, I would say no to residential.
School... Well, I've given up on the prospect of ever returning to school but let me place myself in your shoes. I can understand why you had to drop your education to focus on your mental health and wellbeing, and everything you were dealing with over the past few months; so dropping your classes definitely seemed like the appropriate thing to do. I'm glad you are pushing yourself towards an education; but that shouldn't be the end all. Ask yourself if you are doing it for the right or wrong reasons, in addition to it being cheaper. Are you doing it for yourself or for others?
Again, speaking on myself personally: I would focus on volunteering. Try to make a change in small steps, focus on having a positive effect and presence amongst others or by doing the little things. It can be writing a blog (believe me when I say you are an amazing writer, and I'm the pickiest of the pickiest!) or going to the animal shelther to keep them company. Whatever, as long as it gets you out of the house, but you don't have the obligation of residential or classes pressing down on you.
Again, my opinions on what I would do if I were in Jordan's shoes.
In the end, it is your choice. I will support you no matter what. You know that. 
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