This has been an incredibly difficult year for me. I took the spring semester off in order to heal from surgery on my ankle, which turned out to be the right choice because I got very sick anyway AND have had to deal non-stop with mental health issues. I've been hospitalized for a suicide attempt and self harm three times and in PHP or IOP the rest of the time. During this time my family has come completely unraveled and my personal life is a mess. So yeah, it's been a stressful year.

My family and I have decided how we're going to move forward in our split. My ex and I are getting an apartment together, at least for a little while, and her other ex will be keeping the house. We put in an application for an apartment today and look to be moving in early August. My ex and I are both incredibly stressed out, anxious, and terribly depressed, but we're trying. I've tried to start spending time with friends and meeting new people and things are looking up a little.

During April and May I dealt heavily with self harm, having multiple surgeries and medical hospitalizations to deal with the wounds. I did well for a while but last week I self-harmed again and I'm having trouble with motivation to take care of the wound. It makes me think I'm maybe not doing as well as I think I am.

When I showed the wound to my doctor last week I told her I might go to residential and I meant it. I once went to a really nice place and I would be willing to go back there. The thing is, I don't know whether or not residential is the best choice. Multiple people in the last few months have told me I've made myself a permanent patient by centering my life on therapy so much and that they want more for me, and they're right. For this reason I am tempted to say no to residential and go back to school. Instead of focusing all my life's mastery on therapy I could actually make some progress towards my long-term future and might start feeling better about myself.

So I don't know what to do. I don't know what option would bring me the best outcome. School is certainly less expensive than residential, but that doesn't mean it's what's best. Any thoughts?