[Celyn]

I can't pretend to know how you feel as I haven't been in your situation. But I have had a friend attempt suicide before and though they still struggle with mental health, I can say that they don't feel as low as they did when they wanted to end their life. It is possible for things to improve.

You had a good time with friends, playing games together. Would you still have enjoyed these things if you hadn't made your decision? There's no reason to say that you couldn't still enjoy these things in the future. And those relationships, groups and friends might not necessarily fade and die. And if they did, it's okay to find other things and friends that give you joy, purpose and reason to keep going.

Speaking of which, I know you mention having a plan and a date, and I'm wondering if you would want to make a safety plan too? You've got GoT, Pikachu and Endgame to keep you going for a while, but are there other things that you might want to see or do after the date? And what about people that you can contact? I know you mention that things were a bit difficult with the friend who feels she can't help but are other other friends that you can talk to or hotlines that you can call?

You have been so strong to have gone such a long time being self-harm free in the past, and you've experienced some moments where you don't feel so depressed too. It is possible to experience these things again