[Tigereyes]

Apparently chronic illness isn't a valid enough reason to be tired. Pushing myself to sickness isn't good enough; lazy in fact. So I pop more caffeine pills and potentiators since the caffeine doesn't work enough anymore. But it's not enough. So I work longer hours and sleep less. More pills. Vicious cycle but it's still not enough. Because whatever I do, healthy people are accomplishing more. And that's what I'm compared to because I don't look sick. I keep getting yelled at for trying to respect my limitations, so now I don't. I know people with real uppers. I've been thinking of that more because what choice do I have. I'm going to get cardo problems eventuqlly if I keep this up, but maybe I'll get lucky and I'll die first. Healthy people abuse uppers to accomplish more; I need them to function less than normally. But I'm just lazy for not working myself into the hospital or to death.