[DiafolEternal]

Further follow up from the above.

I have had an amazing few days with all my friend groups. And have thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Full days of DnD with my two DnD groups, BloodBowl with my Warhammer Group, and Board Games with another friend group. And I gave the most heartfelt good byes I could.

I have never thought more clearly. that I want an end to this. Yes I enjoyed the above, the now. but every single one of those relationships, groups, and friends will fade and die. Everything will die... so whats the point?

This is what I call existential depression, and I do not see a cure or answers. Meds and shrinks wont help as ultimately it is truth. while others that can not see or can not stand the thought of death, trying to cage those that see the truth to this life... Not out of love, but fear. They can not bear to be without, or can not stand the thought of death knowing that one day it will come for them as well.

Staying here or going. Their Hurt will fade, legacy and memory will fade. we are playing a game with no goals or objectives. and yea, I do not like that game. and have my end plan and date.

Enjoy what you can while you can, and i wish you to never feel as I do x