[Latte]

Don't feel embarrassed, it sounds like there are really good reasons for why you want things like pacifiers and talking using language that isn't age appropriate at times, it sounds like these things have served a purpose for you, they keep you safe, even if they aren't sustainable or long term habits, due to how adults are expected to act, at least when in public. I have also shown signs of PTSD and have adopted a lot of coping habits that I don't necessarily, such as the way I eat, but there was a time that these habits kept me safe, even if it was just safe from being ripped apart inside the trauma I experienced.

What you're doing is ok because it sounds like it kept you safe too and like you're ready to deal with the underlying issues.

Also there's nothing wrong with a lot of the stuff you mentioned; I also like watching Disney movies, for example, a lot of us crave things that brought us comfort as children and for you, that might be a pacifier. I get that things like a pacifier is "just for babies" and totally understand why you want to replace it, but I also think you need to recognize that therapy and healing is a process and you will be able to replace these habits with something more productive or be able to function without needing it or being able to wait until, say, you are at home and not have it interfere with your day to day life when you're ready.