[Tigereyes]

i'm motivated to fix everything ASAP but also hopeless that it'll ever get better, especially in the short few months I have to fix everything before it gets so much worse. I'm at a loss for what to do, I have no one to turn to, no one to listen. If I don't get my shit together in time, I'm probably going to end it. That thinking got me through last semester. It almost killed me, but I wouldn't be here today without it. It's easier to get shit together when you live like you only have less than six months left to live.. Maybe it'll work, maybe it'll backfire. But it's the only way I can keep myself from giving up now.