[NeuroBeautiful]

The father told me "sorry for scaring you" after yelling ruthlessly at his 7 year old disabled child. It has become constant. I did not notice it before because he wouldn't come home till later in the evening.

Title: Don't Say Sorry To Me



Don’t say sorry to me....
I am not your daughter, son or wife
I am not in need of your care, nor
to hear words gentle and kind

Don’t say sorry to me
I am not your loved one nor your family
I do not need your apology
Did you not hear your child speak?
How she wishes to be replaced by another kid?
Is that the message you want to send?

Do not say sorry to me
Say sorry to your neighbors and friends
For fooling them!
Having them think your family is perfect and ideal
Having them believe that you are an example we should strive to be
Forcing your children and I, the eyes and ears to carry the burden alone

Don’t you dare say sorry to me
While your child is lying there, crying
After you yelled at her
And confuse her by making jokes in between the yelling.

Say sorry for yelling at your children and hiding like a coward behind “tough love parenting”.
Say sorry that you want to give your son “severe punishment” for not completing his homework as fast as you’d like.
Say sorry that your default mood is “you’re making me cross! Stop crying now or you’ll get a hit like you’ve never had in your life!”

Oh mother, not so fast, your hands are not clean.
March up to the bathroom and take a good look into the mirror, now.
Come back when you think you can behave maturely and respectfully.
You say sorry to your child too,
for using myself as a pawn
For playing mind games and making threats.
Go on, be honest with yourself,
Is this how you truly want to proceed with parenting?

Say sorry that together you continue the cycle of abuse
Every day through your choices, actions and words
Say sorry that you ruled gentleness and compassion as absurd
Say sorry that you’re part of the problem.
You do not stand up for what’s right. You do what’s comfortable.
What was done to you when you were growing up.
You are willing to keep using outdated methods that research show
how harmful
How dangerous
How damaging
To the developing and growing child.
Why take that risk?
And though you could have been one less family
To fall through the cracks and become a statistic,
You choose to stay in your comfort zone bubble and remain ignorant,
cowardly and conforming to oppressive practices.
Because you’d rather follow the status quo
Than to question
Think critically
Problem solve creatively
Do the hard work

Perhaps most importantly, say sorry to yourself
For losing sight of what matters most
For letting life stresses to break your home
For missing out on the joy
And the opportunity for growth that parenting brings.
Realize the impact you have on human lives for generations
Then learn to forgive yourself and show the kindness that your children deserve
To yourself too
You can get through these hard and trying times
Parenting is a gift but that doesn’t mean your children are your property
It is time to rethink,
What does it mean to you to raise a living, thinking, feeling, breathing human being?