So I opened up to a friend Friday, and she said she will come docs with me on Wednesday.
I have ran out of vodka, tobacco, pop (caffeine), and energy. I have spent 52 of the last 60 hours in bed. I broke my 265 days
SH free.
The same friend as above seen me post I was ill (from withdrawal, but she didn't know that part) and suggested I not come to our weekly D&D session. she said she was worried about me infecting the group but I just felt i was being treated differently after being open with her. ensue nightmares of abandonment. I think it was a nightmare anyway, i deleted a lot of the messages from Friday (while in that real/fake world state) so not sure if she did call me and i deleted that from myself too.
Not sure I even want to go doc. Firstly idk how honest i can be and not get sectioned. she assures me that wont happen but idk. she tells me it will get me back to reality. but thats not what i really want. I do just want that game over screen.