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Originally Posted by .:Bibliophile:.
Hey,
I apologize it took a while for you to get a response. You ask some really good questions and I'll try to answer to the best of my ability.
To be honest, I have a lot of days where I don't know what keeps me going. I suppose one of the things that keeps me going is the hope that tomorrow will be a better day and there are days where tomorrow is better. I don't necessarily hate M-F. I have a job and it's stressful but I accomplished my dream of getting a job with this particular company so I appreciate my job.
What should keep you going is entirely up to you. I don't, personally, think other people should keep living for the people in their lives. I believe when things are really bad living for loved ones can help but when a person only lives for their loved ones that can be bad because relationships end and people pass away. So, I won't tell you to live for your family or friends because I think you need to find a different reason to keep pushing forward.
What do you enjoy? Do you like gaming, reading, riding a bike. There are days when the things that keep me going are the things I like such as my reading. If I leave this world too early I'll miss out on a particular release or reading a particular series. It sounds silly but it does help me get through some tough times.
Best regards.
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Sorry .:Bibliophile:., I am just spamming this thread now. But what you said has really hit home.
I have no hope for tomorrow, because so what? Tomorrow, the day after, soon... It will be over anyway. When the destination is death, who really cares how we get there? it doesn't matter.
I have felt trapped in this life by the other people for over 10 years now, i have seeked help, been open. anything to try and control myself so that i can bare this existence to avoid causing others pain. Relationships do end, friends and family die, and people drift apart. so in time every chain holding me will rust, break and turn to dust regardless.
And as for what do I enjoy, for many years now. nothing... I try to keep the habits i had when I could enjoy things. I game, but hate it because I am not as good as i once was. I draw, but can no longer find inspiration, or find the beauty in things to create something beautiful.
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Honestly, I am just trying to find ANYTHING to live for so I can avoid the hurt of family.
The final season of GoT. Avengers: End Game. the goblin slayer dub or the new League of Legends ranked format. Literally anything to look forward to because I feel so trapped.
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but really, even those are now a thin rope that may soon break under tension.