[Latte]

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling so much. Have you spoken to your doctor about taking your medications, maybe if they explain how the pain killers and the anxiety meds work (or don't work) together, you can be reassured, and maybe you can get someone like your girlfriend or a roommate to watch you take it and make sure nothing happens to you.

I'm sorry things are spiralling though. I know how it feels to feel like your mental illness is ruining your life. I do believe that there are ways to stablize though, so hopefully you're therapy and medications will work once you conquer some of the fear and are able to practice it.