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I see that you said you write thigns out when you have to leave a voicemail. Do you do something similar when you are making a call? I know that you can't predict exactly how the call will go, but it may help to have scripts about what the key points you want to talk about are. At least that way you know that you're going to start the call saying "x, y, z" and you want to make sure "a, b c," points get covered during the phone call. Of course, the rest of the points would be guided by what the person on the other end says, which may help for that bit.

Are you able to set the area you're in up comfortably for the phone call? I know it sounds weird, but if possible maybe you can sit in a room that you feel safe in when making the phone call, and if there's anyting that may be relaxing or comforting, have it with you when making the call?