[Sophrosyne]

Hey there, no one is trying to offend or upset you we just want what’s best for you and to make you feel safer going to the next party. It doesn’t matter if he was gentle or not, the fact he did it without your permission is reason enough to be upset with him and you shouldn’t have to defend him when he did in fact rape you. It was in no way your fault, no matter what you did. Unless you willingly had sex with him, it was completely his fault.

I do think it is up to you whether or not you tell your boyfriend but I think if you do tell your boyfriend he should be on your side and not blame you, otherwise he isn’t a good boyfriend. When someone is raped you don’t blame the victim, you stop being friends with the rapist. So he should support you and you shouldn’t have to worry about him blaming you.

Having the host look out for you when you go to the bathroom at the next party is also a good idea, especially if you don’t tell your boyfriend about it.