[FMcGill]

Hi Amy!
It definitely sounds like you are in a tough spot, with moving to a new place and having a young son to raise. Being young, I am sure it's even more challenging. But, I want to say that I think you're really admirable. It's no easy job being a mom in itself, and how much you care about your son's well-being is inspiring. I don't think you're letting your son down at all, and in honesty, he and your fiancé are fortunate to have a mom/future wife as caring as you.

I personally don't have any experience with your situation but my grandmother was in the exact same spot when she was 18. She told me how all the feelings you have right now, anxiety & depression, were things she struggled with and still does today. But, she also taught me what to do, so I wouldn't have the same experiences she did. So, I hope they can help you.

For your sake, I think you and your fiancé should definitely try to make friends with other people in your area. it's incredibly hard being alone not knowing anyone, and I think it's really important you have people you can feel like you can count on. Specifically, I think if you found people with children around your son's age, you would be able to find friends for him as well! Of course, I understand being a private person and not wanting to put yourself out there, but everyone in the world needs some sort of social companionship.

As for your son going into school, I think you're being too hard on yourself! As long as you support your son and motivate him the best way you can, he will do just fine in school. My mother was a single parent who was always busy working and worried about me going into school without knowing anyone. What helped me though was how much she supported and love me. Even if you don't feel like you can be a testimony to your child because you dropped out that in no way means you can't support him to be successful in school. Sometimes, a strong & hard-working mother inspires kids just as much, if not more than one who went to college.

I am sure there are still a lot of the different things in your life that seem difficult to tackle, but I hope some of this helps. But in honesty, I think the most important thing you can do is to find things which make you and your family happy, and be there for your child. Even though you're a mom, you deserve to treat yourself and enjoy life too. If you make an effort each day to focus on the positive and surround yourself with encouragement, I know the depression and anxiety will be a lot easier to tame. It's definitely hard at first, but I believe you can do it! Best of luck to you!!