[Latte]

I'm sorry that your parents reacted this way. It was pretty unfair of them to not privately tell you what the punishment would be for your lying and deception, bashing you to the guy they know you like seems to border on cruel from my perspective, like they wanted him to learn dislike you and even if they didn't approve of your actions, it seems very thoughtless for a parent to want to ruin your relationships in the process.

I am sorry that it happened like that. I am sure that there isn't much you can do about your home situation, though there are things you can try (I'll get to that), because sadly, I am assuming that you're a minor and don't have much control over how they treat you unless it becomes blatantly abusive, in which case you could try to have child protective services intervene.

In the mean time, if you are at school or a library, maybe you can log into a computer there, you can change your passwords if your parents have them, and message him to apologize for what happened and explain your side of the story and that, for now, contact will be minimal. Personally, I think it's wrong for parents to have access to a child's passwords and pin numbers. It's one thing when the kid is 10 or something and needs a higher level of supervision online to ensure that they aren't falling into a trap with predatory people, but a teenager should have more automomy. I understand the need to protect their child BUT I feel like the best way to protect your kid is to educate them on how to be safe and to empower them to be functional humans who know how to protect themselves; monitoring every last move isn't a good idea. I'm not sure if they have your passwords though, just saying, change them and when you do that, you can usually tell facebook and such to log you out of other devices.

It sounds like you did somethings wrong in the past and now you're trying to be better. Right? Is the reason your parents reacted like they did due to them thinking your lies or deceptions were you backsliding? I think any parent would be angry about what you did though; what if something had happened to you and they actually didn't know where you were or who you were with? I know the chances of that seem slim, but that's something parents fear all the time. Of course, it sucks when your parents are being overly strict and make you feel like lying is the only choice... but it sounds like your parents reaction was even bigger due to what you did in the past. However, do they know just how much you're changing, or trying to change?

I am assuming that if you felt the need to lie to them that communication between you and them sucks right now (or in general). Perhaps you can offer an olive branch to trying to change that; you could write a simply letter so if the conversation deteriorates, you can leave the room but put the letter on the table for them to read. Don't dump everything on them right away, just tell them you want to talk, you don't want it to escalate to fighting so if it starts to get tense, you'll leave and the conversation can be continued later, that way the rules are on the table. You can write that on the letter. Then also tell them that you're sorry you lied, that you know it was a bad idea and you should have known it'd make everything worse if they found out, but you were afraid they wouldn't even give this boy a chance due to the choices you made in the past and that you didn't want your choice in dating him taken away because you felt like your parents wouldn't trust you to be responsible. Let them know a few ways that you've been trying to be more responsible, despite the lies, and that you hope they'll reconsider the punishment and give this guy a chance. Write it all down so that if it goes poorly, you can leave the letter with them for consideration and leave the room.

I hope this helps and I hope it'll be ok.