[brunomars1077]

I am 17 and my dad and step mom want a christian man for me. I have a very hurtful past and my past relationship was just too toxic for too long. As I got over the relationship I found myself and was finally able to say that I didn't need a guy to be happy because I was finally happy with being independent. One day a guy hmu and tbh I thought that he was just going to be a fuckboy or someone who was just planning on using me. I doubted how good he was. i mean he is popular, excellent scholar, and almost every girl can say that he is cute. He redefined a boyfriend for me and showed me what it is to truly care for someone. He demonstrated that he was in it for the best and he constantly reassured me that we would work out because to him something good takes time. I am not allowed to date and we had been dating for almost 5 months. my parents found out a couple days before my birthday that he was my boyfriend and my step mom, dad, and mom were all upset. but what upset them the most is that I lied to them to go hang out with him. i've never done anything sexual with him because he respects me and has never pressured me into doing anything with him. he is patient and showed me that he was going to wait for me. but when my parents found out that I had lied to them to go out with him, my boyfriend, they totally flipped. what hurts is that my step mom was so angry that she texted him behind my back and was telling him all the bad things I had done in the past and why I was immature and a liar and a deceiver and she told him that we weren't allowed to be together anymore and that if we ever tried to "re-start" anything that she would tell his parents to make him stop talking to me. He was so sweet in his response when he told her that I was a great kid and that he thought that I was one of the most mature people he has ever met. he also said that he was not aware of all the lying and deceiving I had been doing. but the thing is, that was in the past. and yes, I understand that lying is bad and i'd be really hurt if I was lied to. but my step mom made me look like i'm a liar and a deceiver..and the fact that she told him about my past mistakes and why i'm such a bad person hurts me because I don't want him to think that I'm a liar. because i'm not, I may have lied to them but it's all been under the strict circumstances i've been in. I know who I am, and I know she did it because she was mad, but now i'm not allowed to text him and I got my phone taken away and I can't message him on social media. she also told him that she had read our messages and that I knew that our messages were being monitored, but I didn't know. and now I just look like this big fat liar and like a person who only knows to lie and deceive. I know i've lied but again, it's been under certain circumstances which I don't feel confortable explaining. I don't know what to do because for the first time I felt and was sure that someone wasn't going to leave me for better. i'm hurt and i'm scared that he won't want to speak to me again. and my mom was actually there and said that she is here to support me no matter what, but i'm not allowed to go out anymore. but I really need to tell him how I feel and i'm scared to ask her to let me talk to him. I also don't have a phone anymore and it just makes the whole situation really hard. I'm embarrassed of what was told to him and my step mom is really good at making me feel so poorly and shitty about myself. and i'm scared that he won't want to talk to me any more, I really liked him and I truly think that we can and would've worked out. I don't know what to do. it hurts so bad and I don't want to go to school because i'm so embarrassed of it.