Hello-. For the recent two years I have always felt kind of weird after hearing and learning the meaning of "transgender". I kind of felt.. Relieved, yet nervous and somewhat disturbed at times?
In short, I think i'm transcurious, in a sense? Let me explain why do I think so..
Exhibit A: Even if this does sound somewhat embarassing, but.. Ever since I was a child, let's say.. around 5 - 6 years old, I have always been hooked with playing with barbie dolls with my female cousin. Like seriously. We've been playing all kinds of girly games, maybe out of boredom, and I do think that's normal- but when I think more about it, it does sound a little weird to me.
Exhibit B: I'm always so curious about life as a female. I always wonder about female mind-sets, their preferences, their other problems and etc., hell, I kind of feel really.. jealous of them? I don't know why. They're pretty, nice, cute, (mysterious?), perhaps caring, I guess? It's like, 80% the opposite of me. That's what I feel jealous about. I feel like I want a curvy-lean body? I guess?
Exhibit C: I really want to "express" myself by growing out my hair (i had grown out my hair once but I was forced to cut it by my mom
), dyeing it, colouring my nails, freaky "goth style" make up and all of that jazz. I remember back in 2010 I saw a picture of a goth girl and I was like... "wow, I want to look like her". That feeling never really disappeared, It's still present. I also really want to experiment with a lot of
Exhibit
I'm really shy in real life-. Not like "standart shy", more like "over-reactive kawaii anime girl shy" xD. I'm 100% sure no male does that. I guess girls don't act like that either. I'm just a weirdo, I guess hahah.
When someone talks to me I immediately go "Logging Out, Please Don't Turn off Your
PC" mode. Literally.
What do you all think? I'm probably just a weirdo heh.