[hocus pocus]

Sometimes people stay in denial for a long time and then it can just suddenly hit them, like you mentioned. Crying can be uncomfortable and exhausting at times but it is a good outlet; it's good that you cried and got things out of your system.

You're not dumb at all. You went through something you shouldn't have and your reactions and feelings are normal. I know how hard it is but try not to compare your experience to other experiences. At the end of the day, there is no level playing field and what other people have been through certainly does not take away from your own experiences.

It is hard when you don't have anyone to talk to but know that you'll always have the people on here. It isn't always the same as verbalizing things but it does help.

Healing takes time and some of that will come on its own and some of it will require a bit more work. Maybe you can start small. For instance, you can start writing about or blogging about your feelings somewhere, such as on TeenHelp.

Feel free to send me a message if you want to talk.