[Tigereyes]

Finals are killing me. I took a practice test for my exam tomorrow morning and was failing so badly I gave up halfway though. Been studying so hard for this class for the past WEEK and now it's too late and I'm just going to fail either way, so why bother trying. I'm hoping I have a heart attack from all the caffeine and stress so that maybe I can get out of this shit. I just want to quit. I hate myself. This class makes me hate myself more. I want to make this stop. I can't get high because I need to try not to fail even though I basically already have, and now I WILL have a panic attack during the test tomorrow, so if I wasn't going to fail before, now I definitely will. Wish I could get some anxiety meds so I don't, but I can't. Wish I could have my painkillers so that I don't care about failing. Wish I could hurt myself to punish myself for failing since I can't make myself not care.