Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
May 4th 2009, 10:32 PM
What the fuck, if you want me then why do you drive me away. What the fuck is wrong with you.
Am i imagining this?
After our fight, i apologized and suddenly you want to talk to me all the time and just talk random crap on the phone with me again. You wanna tell me about your day, I'm interested but i don't get where this comes from.
We didn't talk at all up until the point where we had the big fight. When we start talking again, you text me 1st thing without doubt when you wake up, you call me when you get home at night, you talk to me until you literally can't anymore, you fall asleep on the phone to me; i listen to you breath for a minute. I try to wake you up to say bye, you need your sleep but i fail and just go.
Almost clingy, but i won't label it as that because i like it. I just don't get why you get like this everytime we start fresh, we come back to each other everytime our feelings never truely diminish then you slowly fade away, you tell me you don't want a relationship and you say hurtful things, indicating that being with me would have been a mistake and telling me that you've found this person who makes you happy. Yet you seem to want to be with me, but won't admit it, why?
This person, who made you "happier than ever"; i guess he wasn't all that great if just a week later you hate life again? Oh, and just around the time that you noticed i wasn't making any attempts to contact you? That can't be just coincidence, this isn't the 1st time. You were keeping tabs on me, what is that? You knew i was at Antos. I think that's kind of weird considering we weren't talking and you caused that.
I love you, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid to put myself out there, put my neck on the line. I don't want to make myself vulnerable again. I don't want to be hurt by you again. So you're going to have to do all the work if that's what you truely want. I'm not sure if it is though, these are all just assumptions. I don't even know if you're single, or whether you have another new boyfriend. That never seemed to stop you before, but it certainly would put me off if you did.
Why are you so complicated. If I'm what you want, drop everyone else, be mean and stop leading them on, stop being afraid to hurt all these little boys who are infatuated with you. You have no intentions with them, they all think they have a chance and you're going to use them as a rebound when you get hurt. Like you always do, i feel sorry for them really. They're going to get hurt in the long run and they have no reason to think otherwise.
I miss you everyday we don't talk, every minute. But I'm afraid to even begin getting attached again. Everytime you call or text me, i love replying and talking to you. But I'm not going to be the one leading this. I'm not getting hurt again, not that way at least.
You need to make your intentions clear or just invite me out somewhere so i can work out what they are. I can only do it in person. Y'know if i think they are what i want them to be, I'll make a move on them. I'll take things to the next level, once i know I'm safe doing that. But you're going to have to set it up. I'm not ignoring you, i don't want you to think that. Just please keep calling and texting, invite me out somewhere for the day. We haven't had a day out in over 5 months, i want this to work.
Last edited by Jake; May 4th 2009 at 11:03 PM.
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