(dont know if its triggering.. just to be sure..)
since my friend has told me about his failed suicide attempt i cant stop thinking about cutting again. i stopped two years ago and now it feels like everything is coming back again.. my dad keeps calling me bitch again and how i ruined his life and how his life would be better if i would be dead and those other things which make me so damn sad and angry about myself. i feel the urge to cut myself again.. just to feel better.. but on the other hand i know it was a mistake starting it. but i just can't help. i am afraid to tell it my friend because i don't want him to worry.. he has enough problems.. :/
is this normal ? i mean.. two years and i never thought about it..and now it is like my past is following me now ( with the same problems..my dad
)
i hate my dad. really i do. he is the reason why i am so freaking scared of making mistakes that could upset him and say those thing to me. they hurt me so much.
i tried to talk to my mum about it but she won't listen. she is kinda against everything i say.
oh god.. this is soo bad :/ i cant help but think to go to the bathroom and just cut myself.